Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize