I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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