we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
