so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
