Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
