went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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