There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
