You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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