Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Church boner. Awkwardddd
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
