how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
