Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
