I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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