Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
