I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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