for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
