i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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