What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
