You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
