whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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