I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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