I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
