if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's blow job season.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
