I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
