Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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