Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
