I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
