Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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