..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
