I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
