Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
