toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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