So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
