so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
