He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
