My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
