youre lurking in front of me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
