i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
