forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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