I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
