I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
