There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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