All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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