That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
