I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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