you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
