she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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