I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
