You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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