I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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