I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
