It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
