I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
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