I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We just shotgunned beers for America
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
