How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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