He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
