I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am puke
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
