wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize