i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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