____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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