If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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