I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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