Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
