i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
