There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
im holly from the hills drunk
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
