Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
