I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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