She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
