Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
