Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
