I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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