i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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