My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
