I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
