I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
